Body Language: Actions Do Speak Louder Than Words : Love, Dating
Body Acting as a “truth talker” – actions do speak louder than words. Here’s a look at how some of our body language translate to words. If you’re out on a date and flirting with someone is your primary goal – your body language can do all the talking for you. Leaning a bit closer than necessary, lingering glances and a fleeting touch will say all that you have to say without a need for words.
If you've ever walked down the street and gotten a negative vibe from someone just from looking at them, your instincts may not have been all that off. The way people carry themselves, how they speak and where they place their bodies are all unconscious actions that broadcast their feelings. Body language expert explains how and when your body acts as a truth-talker.
Touching Your Face: Have you ever had a conversation with someone and had a gut feeling they were lying? Well, you may not have been wrong. Unconscious actions, such as touching or slightly scratching the face, may signal lying. Just as young children are prone to covering their mouths when caught in a lie, adults mimic this effect by touching their forehead, nose or cheek, according to 'Body Language 101,' by body language expert David Lambert. Nervousness can also result in similar actions. "It's a pretty significant tell," says Wood.
The Leg Cross: Crossing your legs is usually a signal that you're closing yourself off. "Women tend to cross their legs more than men," says Wood. "Part of it is just that the body can't reach the ground, but part of it is also keeping the crotch covered." For men, crossing the legs may be read as cockiness. "It's really male and very assertive," she says. No matter what gender you are, when you're in an interview or meeting, keep your legs uncrossed and plant both feet firmly on the ground. "That syncs your right and left hemispheres and helps you think and respond more clearly," Wood says.
Licking Your Lips: It's hard enough picking out an outfit for a first date, let alone having to worry about inadvertent sexual signals. Unconsciously moistening your lips or rubbing your legs together can be taken as a sexual cue. "For females, especially, licking the lips can be sensual and purposeful," says Wood. "It's very arousing, and you do it subconsciously." So if your lips tend to be dry, make sure to slather on an extra coat of lip gloss or lip balm to avoid any confusion. Or not.
Fidgeting: It's Monday morning. You're stuck in a meeting without having had your morning coffee. Assuming you can stay awake, fidgeting in your chair can broadcast boredom to your colleagues. When the left side of the brain is fed logical information, the right hemisphere craves stimulation. "It wants to play," says Wood. Your body responds by fidgeting, characterized by a finger tap or the more notorious jimmy leg. To prevent unwanted attention, Wood suggests taking notes or doodling to keep yourself focused and attentive.
The Handshake: First impressions are hard to break, and an unnecessarily firm handshake can relay dominance while a pathetically limp one can show insecurity. Tonya Reiman describes the perfect handshake in 'The Power of Body Language': "Go toward the person, lean slightly forward, look them in the eye, extend your right hand and introduce yourself while pumping two to three times. Have an easy, comfortable grip and make sure to shake your entire arm, not just the wrist and fingers."
Biting Your Lip: Biting your lip can be a leftover habit from childhood that you haven't been able to break. Reiman describes people who bite their lip as vulnerable, embarrassed and shy. It's a nervous habit and often a tell for inexperienced liars.
Smiling: Don't fake it. A forced smile is often a dead giveaway that you're not particularly fond of the person you're speaking to. Women tend to be social smilers and smile 70 percent more than men. But ladies, if you disagree with what a speaker is saying, don't smile and don't nod your head. "For men, it sends the message that you agree with them, and they get confused," says Wood. If you feel like you have to be polite, be nice for a moment, but then turn your lower torso away. "They'll subconsciously pick up on it that you're done and then move on," she says. Start subtly, and then make the shift away.
Pupil Dilation: Dilated pupils have long been considered a sign of beauty. When your pupils dilate, you're probably viewing something you find exciting or attractive -- a big tell on any date provided it's not a candlelit dinner. According to Reiman, Italian courtesans would go to dangerous lengths to dilate their pupils by putting droplets of belladonna in their eyes.
The Arm Cross: Crossing your arms is a telltale sign of disapproval. "You're closing a part of yourself off from other people," says Wood. "You're sending a message that you're not accessible." If you're having a disagreement, try to keep your arms at your sides or gesticulate with open palms in order to portray that you're being amenable.
Trivial Tasks: Unconsciously fiddling with jewelry, chewing your thumb or even sucking on your pen are called displacement activities and can signal tension, according to Lambert. If you're on an interview, keep jewelry to a minimum and make sure to place your hands on your lap.
The Arm Grip: Have you ever watched passengers boarding the plane and known instinctively which ones were afraid of flying? An indication of nervousness is arms folded across the chest with each hand clasped tightly around the upper arm. If you tend to cross your body with one arm and clasp your hand around the other arm, you may be portraying that you're uncomfortable or feel unsafe. Lambert suggests that people do this unconsciously to recreate a childhood feeling of safety when a parent holds your hand. If you're speaking in front of an audience, try to keep your hands at your sides or practice gesticulating to depict confidence and maintain the audience's attention.
Body Acting as a “truth talker” – actions do speak louder than words. Here’s a look at how some of our body language translate to words. If you’re out on a date and flirting with someone is your primary goal – your body language can do all the talking for you. Leaning a bit closer than necessary, lingering glances and a fleeting touch will say all that you have to say without a need for words.
If you've ever walked down the street and gotten a negative vibe from someone just from looking at them, your instincts may not have been all that off. The way people carry themselves, how they speak and where they place their bodies are all unconscious actions that broadcast their feelings. Body language expert explains how and when your body acts as a truth-talker.
Touching Your Face: Have you ever had a conversation with someone and had a gut feeling they were lying? Well, you may not have been wrong. Unconscious actions, such as touching or slightly scratching the face, may signal lying. Just as young children are prone to covering their mouths when caught in a lie, adults mimic this effect by touching their forehead, nose or cheek, according to 'Body Language 101,' by body language expert David Lambert. Nervousness can also result in similar actions. "It's a pretty significant tell," says Wood.
The Leg Cross: Crossing your legs is usually a signal that you're closing yourself off. "Women tend to cross their legs more than men," says Wood. "Part of it is just that the body can't reach the ground, but part of it is also keeping the crotch covered." For men, crossing the legs may be read as cockiness. "It's really male and very assertive," she says. No matter what gender you are, when you're in an interview or meeting, keep your legs uncrossed and plant both feet firmly on the ground. "That syncs your right and left hemispheres and helps you think and respond more clearly," Wood says.
Licking Your Lips: It's hard enough picking out an outfit for a first date, let alone having to worry about inadvertent sexual signals. Unconsciously moistening your lips or rubbing your legs together can be taken as a sexual cue. "For females, especially, licking the lips can be sensual and purposeful," says Wood. "It's very arousing, and you do it subconsciously." So if your lips tend to be dry, make sure to slather on an extra coat of lip gloss or lip balm to avoid any confusion. Or not.
Fidgeting: It's Monday morning. You're stuck in a meeting without having had your morning coffee. Assuming you can stay awake, fidgeting in your chair can broadcast boredom to your colleagues. When the left side of the brain is fed logical information, the right hemisphere craves stimulation. "It wants to play," says Wood. Your body responds by fidgeting, characterized by a finger tap or the more notorious jimmy leg. To prevent unwanted attention, Wood suggests taking notes or doodling to keep yourself focused and attentive.
The Handshake: First impressions are hard to break, and an unnecessarily firm handshake can relay dominance while a pathetically limp one can show insecurity. Tonya Reiman describes the perfect handshake in 'The Power of Body Language': "Go toward the person, lean slightly forward, look them in the eye, extend your right hand and introduce yourself while pumping two to three times. Have an easy, comfortable grip and make sure to shake your entire arm, not just the wrist and fingers."
Biting Your Lip: Biting your lip can be a leftover habit from childhood that you haven't been able to break. Reiman describes people who bite their lip as vulnerable, embarrassed and shy. It's a nervous habit and often a tell for inexperienced liars.
Smiling: Don't fake it. A forced smile is often a dead giveaway that you're not particularly fond of the person you're speaking to. Women tend to be social smilers and smile 70 percent more than men. But ladies, if you disagree with what a speaker is saying, don't smile and don't nod your head. "For men, it sends the message that you agree with them, and they get confused," says Wood. If you feel like you have to be polite, be nice for a moment, but then turn your lower torso away. "They'll subconsciously pick up on it that you're done and then move on," she says. Start subtly, and then make the shift away.
Pupil Dilation: Dilated pupils have long been considered a sign of beauty. When your pupils dilate, you're probably viewing something you find exciting or attractive -- a big tell on any date provided it's not a candlelit dinner. According to Reiman, Italian courtesans would go to dangerous lengths to dilate their pupils by putting droplets of belladonna in their eyes.
The Arm Cross: Crossing your arms is a telltale sign of disapproval. "You're closing a part of yourself off from other people," says Wood. "You're sending a message that you're not accessible." If you're having a disagreement, try to keep your arms at your sides or gesticulate with open palms in order to portray that you're being amenable.
Trivial Tasks: Unconsciously fiddling with jewelry, chewing your thumb or even sucking on your pen are called displacement activities and can signal tension, according to Lambert. If you're on an interview, keep jewelry to a minimum and make sure to place your hands on your lap.
The Arm Grip: Have you ever watched passengers boarding the plane and known instinctively which ones were afraid of flying? An indication of nervousness is arms folded across the chest with each hand clasped tightly around the upper arm. If you tend to cross your body with one arm and clasp your hand around the other arm, you may be portraying that you're uncomfortable or feel unsafe. Lambert suggests that people do this unconsciously to recreate a childhood feeling of safety when a parent holds your hand. If you're speaking in front of an audience, try to keep your hands at your sides or practice gesticulating to depict confidence and maintain the audience's attention.
More Examples of Body Language
The term "body language" refers to the gestures a person’s face or body gives as an aid to communication. These clues can be either intentional or unintentional.
Translating Body Language
Following are some examples of body language, and what each example communicates to other people:- Arms crossed over the chest. This example of body language can indicate that a person is being defensive. It can also demonstrate that the individual with crossed arms disagrees with the opinions or actions of other individuals with whom they are communicating.
- Nail biting. Nail biting is a type of habit than can demonstrate stress, nervousness, or insecurity. Oftentimes people bite their nails without even realizing it.
- Hand placed on the cheek. This example of body language can indicate that a person is lost in thought, or is considering something. Sometimes when the hand is on the cheek, it is accompanied by a furrowed brow, which further demonstrates deep concentration.
- Tapping or drumming the fingers. Finger-tapping demonstrates that a person is growing impatient or tired of waiting.
- Head tilted to one side. A tilted head demonstrates that a person is listening keenly, or is interested in what is being communicated.
- Touching the nose. When someone touches or rubs their nose, it can signify a number of things: it can be a signal of disbelief or rejection, or it can also demonstrate that an individual is being untruthful about what they are saying.
- Rubbing the hands together briskly. This can show that a person’s hands are cold. It is also a way of communicating that an individual is excited for something, or is waiting in anticipation.
- Placing the tips of the fingers together. "Steepling" of the fingers, or placing the tips of them together, is a demonstration of control and authority. This type of body language can be used by bosses or authority figures to subtly demonstrate that they are running things.
- Palms open, facing upward. An open palm is a sign of openness and honesty. It can be a show of submission – in older days when many people carried weapons, this was used to show that they were not holding one – or of sincerity and innocence. Some people open their palms during worship at church as a sign of submission and respect.
- Head in hands. Yet another example of body language that might mean a number of things, the head in hands move can demonstrate boredom, or it might show that a person is upset or ashamed and does not want to show their face.
- Locked ankles. When the ankles are locked together, either while standing or seated, it can communicate nervousness or apprehension.
- Standing up straight, shoulders back. This position shows that a person is feeling confident of him or herself, and is often accompanied with walking at a brisk stride.
- Stroking of the beard or chin. When one strokes the chin, he or she is communicating deep thought. Such a motion is often used unintentionally when an individual is trying to come to a decision about a matter.
- Pulling of the ear. People often pull the lobes of one of their ears when they are attempting to make a decision, but remain indecisive. This motion demonstrates the inability to come to a conclusion.
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